A Mother's Loss
Isabella lilly Rose Dewfall
STILLBORN
Isabella Lilly Rose Dewfall, Our new Grandaughter, only she's not, she died in her Mother's womb two weeks before her birth date, Her Mother so proud posted her swollen tummy on Facebook, she could not wait for the beautiful birth of her Child , then just before Easter the baby stopped moving, fearing the worst she went with her partner to the Hospital, they did a series of test, Mother growing more fearful by the minute ,all was lost, the beautiful baby was dead, she rang her Mother to tell her the bad news, her mother my wife in turn told me , at first we were stunned we just could not believe it, what could possibly have gone wrong, then we both started to cry , not just for ourselves but for my daughter and her four children , they were so excited to be having a new brother or Sister , they have yet to find out, my daughter asked us not to say anything to the children as she wanted to tell them herself when she came home , the children were staying with us whilst our daughter and her partner went to the hospital, drying our eyes and trying not to show our pain, we went into the living room, the children were anxious for their Mummy and asked if everything was all right , we lied! we told them that we were still waiting for further results ,and that mummy will tell them all when she gets home.
when she came home, and through the door, the children gathered around her, asking lot of questions, she took them into the front room and gathering them about her and her partner on the settee , she started to tell them that she had lost the baby, within minutes they were crying, and my wife and I doing the same in the other room , but we, as Parents keeping a protective eye on the event unfolding in the other room, that longing feeling to cuddle and protect but being unable to interfere with another mothers duties, looking through the door and watching all the sadness unfold, the children cuddling their mother and father, the misery on their poor faces , the urge to get in and take control ,to gather them all up in a protective bubble , but it was not for us to do, they had to go through it by themselves , after what seemed like an eternity they seem to gather themselves together and reverted to lots of cuddles and kisses, and slowly things started to settle down, after a while my daughter and partner excused themselves and went back to the Hospital to start labour.
The next morning at about ten o'clock the telephone rang , my wife picking the phone up listened intently, once again tears started to flow as we found out that it was a girl, very beautiful ,all fingers and toes in the right place, she was beautiful, she was 6lb,3.1/2 oz , she was born ( Delivered,) on the 20 , April, 2014, at 9.44 , Her name was , Isabella Lilly Rose, Dewfall, one day before her Mother's Birthday.
As quick as we could we rounded up the children and went straight to the hospital, their Mother had requested the children should see the baby as soon as possible, when we reached the Hospital we took the children straight to their mothers room, there we found the local vicar was in attendance and was preparing to Bless the baby, Beside their Mother's bed , laid in a small basket was the baby, dressed in a small baby grow, and a little woollen hat, she was the size of a small doll, a little Princess without the trimmings, but she was our Princess, and she was Beautiful , The vicar read a short sermon and prayer, and then a blessing , Isabella , Lilly , Rose, at this point I left the room, my tears were in big sobs, it was to me very heart breaking , after about 30 seconds I managed to pull myself together and went back inside, the children were handling it better than me, they were still crying but it was more of a quiet sob, the Vicar had finished and was offering his condolences to the parents, Their mother had explained to the children what to expect when looking at the baby ,she said the baby would not look too good and that she will lose some of her colour, and that she will feel a bit cold, the children accepted this an gathered around the baby to say their goodbyes, as children and full of sadness and curiosity they touched the baby's hand , and to my amazement went on to kiss their little Sister on the forehead, one by one they all said their goodbyes.
Back home with Granny and Pappy the children settled down, the youngest girl rubbing my back and asking her Pappy if he was all right ,I said I was, but in truth since I have aged, and lost too many family members I find it all to easy to cry.
The next day around Midday, the Children's Mummy and daddy suddenly turned up at the door,the children were pleased to see their mother ,but they could see she was not herself, they approached her with kisses and smiles at first, but very shortly it turned to tears once more , my Daughter looked very pale and tired, red eyes, and clinging onto her partners arm, seeing her Children she started to smile and greeted her Children with open arms and even more tears .
Her partner looking so very tired, had supported her from the very beginning , never leaving her side, sleeping when he could in an armchair , but always there when he was needed, he has been a brick.
It is still not over , my Daughter and Partner have to make burial plans, at first they were told it may not be possible to have a plot in our local town as there is not enough space, this added even more stress but today news came in that it was possible after all to have the baby buried in our local cemetery, the tears of relief from my Daughter said it all, a great weight had been lifted , and plans are hopefully on course for sometime next week.
There is a poem that I would like to share with you.
An angel from the book of life
wrote down my babies birth
and whispered as she closed the book,
"Too beautiful for earth"
what makes a Mother.
I thought of you and closed my eyes
and prayed to god today,
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
this we know is true,
but god , can you be a Mother
when your baby is not with you?
yes , you can he replied
with confidence in his voice
I give many woman babies
when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
and some I send to fill the womb
but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this god
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared his throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
if you could see your child smile
with other children and say.
We go to earth and learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My mummy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom
who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
my mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here
So you see my dear sweet one
your children are o'k.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where the'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through
and on the day that you come home
The'll be at the gates for you.
so now you see what makes a mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
In memory of all the little children
so close, yet so far away.
my grand daughter
ISABELLA LILLY ROSE DEWFALL
This is not my poem,it was found on the internet, its outher , ANON?
but I think it is very apt,
Melvyn.
